UnThrifty Thursday.....

So, I'm addicted to tutus, pettiskirts and all things fabulous. I just happened upon this little etsy shop today.... ummmm.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/49216849/free-shipping-new-black-and-white-baby

Harper NEEDS these... and I'm talking she NEEDS them the same way she needs more onesies, a hole in her head or more stuffed animals.... but you know... she'll probably gets these because her mama has mental illness:)

Worst Blogger... Evah...

ok, so maybe I'm being hard on myself. So this is where I tell you... I've been blogging in my head, at least:) The past two 1/2 weeks have been CRAZY... like screaming post shot baby, cat peeing on a desk full of important paperwork, I think I need a Dairy Queen Blizzard for dinner.. crazy.

So, my faithful following of about a dozen people.. I'm sorry. But do know that I am back on track... and will try to share with you the several dazzling, witty blog entries I've been working on.

I did do Tasty Kitchen this week... and it kind of sucked... so I'll post about that later. AND... I'll post about Harper's first injury and maybe the cat pee incident... but only after I've doused myself with antibacterial soap again and put some rum in my blizzard.

Talk to you soon:)

Alice's Taste Kitchen: The Greatest Peanut Butter Pie Evah...

I said EVAH!!!

Ok. So, as promised here is my Mamaw's pie. A pie served at every seminal family gathering my entire childhood... and one of my favorite comfort foods of all time (albeit a sugar shock sweetness of a comfort food.)

Here's what you need:


1 c. powdered sugar
1/2 c. peanut butter
1/4 c. cornstarch
3 eggs
2 Tblspns butter
2/3 c. sugar
1/4 tsp salt
2 c. milk
1 tsp vanilla
one pie shell
whipping cream (or egg whites and cream of tartar to make meringue)

You will note in this ingredient picture that I DONT have cream of tartar. merinque makes me gag. I always picked it off every pie my Mamaw made and topped the pie with Cool Whip. In my adulthood, I choose cream over oil, and opt for real deal whipping cream... but if you <3 meringue... go for it...just don't bring your pie over to my house:)

bake your pie shell for an open top pie. My Great Grandma Alice's pies are the stuff of lore... and apparently she could make crust from scratch by dumping lard into a pile of flour and just mixing them together. I didn't get that skill in the gene pool.... soooo, thank you Pillsbury for making the best darned premade crust on the market.

Combine your peanut butter and powdered sugar.

Fork them together into a clumpy consistency as shown. I normally have an addiction to JIF peanut butter... but for this pie I always buy generic. My grandma always had generic or Peter Pan... so I it only tastes right if I make it that way:)

Put one half of the pb/powdered sugar mixture into the cooled, baked shell.

Make your pudding:) and the proof IS in the pudding... YUM> Ok. Heat 2 cups of milk and then add in a mixture of your sugar, salt, and cornstarch.


Then mix in a mix of 3 egg yolks, (toss the whites if you aren't making meringue), melted butter, and vanilla.
Cook until thick.

Pour over powdered sugar and peanut butter in the shell.

Top with the rest of your peanut butter and powdered sugar combo.

Place in the fridge until cold:) Top with whipped cream.... enjoy:)

if you are a meringue person.... you can put the second half of the crumbles on top of the meringue)


Happy Pie Eatin', Loves:)

(Un)Thrifty Thursday.

So, I went to law school with a girl named April. She had the gorgeous charm bracelet... which had charms that her parents had purchased for her to commemorate important events in her life. I think this is SUCH an awesome idea... I am committed to actually making this weeks "unthrifty" offering a genuine purchase for Harper and my niece... but we'll have to wait to Christmas.

This week's offering... Lucy Ann Charms and Charm Bracelet... swwoooonnnn.....

All their stuff is gorgeous... www.lucyann.com

I totally <3 this...


and this....


Happy Shopping:)

The Trials and Tribulations of....

trials.

So obviously I'm a mom. But about 8 years before I became a Mommy, I became a lawyer. To those of you who have not yet picked your vocation.... I say... do NOT become a lawyer. I often wonder why so many television shows are about being a lawyer.. I mean, it kind of sucks. Of course I practice law in a small town... so the plots of LA Law, Ally MacBeal and Law and Order are automatically out of the question... I get where that stuff is intriguing. Today, though, I don't find my job all that acceptable.

My life is always a sort of almost - but not really - turn of events where I either want to exclaim "doh" in the fashion of Homer Simpson or "arg" a la frustrated pirate. Most days that is a result of my job.

I am a jack(ie)-of-all-trades sort of lawyer. I handle public defender/pauper cases... mostly of the criminal sort.... real estate law, immigrations, divorces, and just about anything that walks in my front door.

On Tuesday I started a trial. Trials suck... and often make me daydream of Sam Waterston walking in and taking over for me... or Matthew McConahey .... yeah, lets pick him... all handsome and pre-naked bongo playing... "A Time To Kill" Matthew McConahey in his torn John Mellencamp t-shirt... he should finish this darn thing for me. I'll just sit there and watch... with a bag of popcorn (which would magically appear along with him)

The "doh" AND "arg" of the day goes to the fact that I woke up this morning after sleeping with my kid on me (yes, feel free to give me a speech about the dangers of co-sleeping) and discovered that I cannot turn my head more than straight ahead in one direction... and maybe 15 degrees to the left. God Bless my Kid, but she broke me.

Thus, here I am in a trial (that I cant REALLY discuss) with a jacked up neck, a dress that might be too small (despite the reassurances of mom and husband), a poo ton of other stuff to do... and a secretary on a vacation day.

So, if you are having a trials and tribulations sort of day... sit back... sip on something yummy... and enjoy a little Matthew in your day....

Meet The Husband...

So first, can I say that I Lurve his new haircut.... It makes him look all cute and stuff. I'd like to thank Melissa at Bennie & Friends for always following the haircut instructions I slip her via my hair girl to a tee. (seriously, girls, the secret to good haircuts is to have your husband get his hair cut at your salon... by a different person... so you can talk smack about him to your girl with no reprecussions or worries that she might try to "reform" him thus revealing how you talk about him when he isn't there... and then work your girl power mojo by making sure that your hair girl talks to his hair girl about how YOU like HIS hair.)

The downlow on my husband....

The Good:

He takes care of me when I'm sick. He lets me wear the pants when I want to... and will put them on himself when I really need him too. He thinks I'm pretty...even when I am not. He can cook. I'm not talkin' Ramen, girls... I'm talking Beef Burgundy and mashed potatoes. Seriously, this is a man who can make Martha Stewart's Thanksgiving Turkey... ONLY BETTER. He loves our little girl like mad... I mean he bought her a four foot giraffe this weekend as a sign of his love. And you know what they say... LOVE is a four foot giraffe. Oh, and he works for abused and neglected kids... seriously... kids.

The Bad:

He needs to go to Betty Ford for popsicles, sour patch kids, Dr. Pepper and baths. Yes, my man likes baths - no bubbles, please. He has actually been known to eat popsicles IN a bath. He also has a absolute allergy to putting lids back on things... AND flushing the toilet. If you think about it, it requires the same wrist movement. I believe it COULD be a result of his broken wrist a few years back... that or having a mom or cleaning lady follow him around as a child putting lids on stuff and cleaning up after him.


The Ugly:

He will kill me when he reads this.... but I have to put this out there... and I can see it on the front of some big tabloid when he runs for office one day. 1. His feet smell like what I suspect a dead opossum might smell like... on a hot July day... after a day or two of festering on the blacktop. This is pure speculation as I try to avoid getting close to dead opossums... and his feet. 2. When I moved him from Kentucky to move in with me, I found a drawer in his bathroom that was filled with... wait for it.








I said wait.





It's coming... so brace yourself...




used q-tips.

And our love still survived. Romeo and Juliet ain't got nothing on us.



OH, and here he is... making our girl laugh belly laughs for the first time...

A Monday By Any Other Name...

is still a Monday. So, I was going to approach today as the final day before the crudtastic trial I've been dreading. In general... I'm feeling that Mondays should be banned. I'm considering running for Congress with that being my primary platform issue. I think I'd win in a landslide...


Please note that is it now a bit after 6 p.m. and my Monday work day thus far included the following:


1. my darling daughter vomiting on my hair....

2. my husband driving off to a LONG ass work day with the baby's car seat in his car.

3. whilst cleaning out my car trunk at work, I discovered a block of Kraft Sharp Cheddar Cheese, unopened, which expired in June. Considering how long it takes for cheese to rot, I'm guessing that cheese has been in there since about April... festering in the heat and humidity of Indiana.... nasty... and a waste of yummy cheese.

4. I stepped in gum leaving court... thus making my flip flops make the following noise... Flip... sccchhhllllloooop.

5. My new wrap dress that I ordered to wear to my trial came - yep, none of my suits fit as I'm still quite a bit bigger than I began the getting pregnant process - and is a very Grimace-y sort of purple. My high school colors included that color. Put me in a gold hairbow and I could sing the Eastern High School Fight Song as my opening arguments. Scoooore.

6. I was greeted at my morning hearing by opposing counsel who asked... not kidding... "so, did you have your baby?". Ummm. I sure hope I don't look pregnant anymore. Or was she asking if my baby lived? Wahhh? I'm letting this one pass under the category of "people who don't know how to converse". My self-confidence is overflowing.


I had lots of other cruddy moments too... but they are all pretty securely protected from my sharing with you by the rules of professional conduct. Joy.


So, I'm home... prepping for a trial tomorrow where people are potentially getting their rights to their kids taken away.... and what am I doing? Staring at my kid... trying to be thankful... and creating a light at the end of the tunnel by planning a trip to the Children's Museum this coming weekend... not that my 16 week old will get much out of this trip, you know, but sometimes being a Mommy isn't about them getting things out of the experiences you share with them, but more about reminding yourself why you wanted to be a parent, and why you battle through the gummy flip flop of a day or a week or a month...


Thank goodness it is 6:28 pm, and my husband's credit card is attached to our Papa John's account... oh, and that I have a fabulous friend to start the 30 Day Shred with... and a sister to plot matching outfits for our kiddos with... oh, and for this face......



Because Monday sucked.... but life is still coming up roses:)

Alice's Taste Kitchen (episode one)

Ok, so on Sundays I shall blog about a stolen or borrowed recipe. I won't ever pretend to "create" something... and if I ever CAN create food I'll totally toot my own horn, but don't hold your breath... I like you too much to lose you that way. The idea behind my Taste Kitchen is for me to hunt down something that seems to be uber yummy on a website, in a cookbook, or amongst my family cooking repertoire... make it, photograph it, eat it and share with you some lessons that might make it EASIER for you to make it.... thus providing you... my wonderful followers with the Internet equivalent of that poor schmuck who had to taste the King's food in the olden days so as to ensure that poisoning was not afoot:)


**** A few things you should know about me before you read any further. I started dating my husband in March of 2006... I have cooked no more than 15 meals since that meeting... the man can cook... none of it is any good for you... but it is generally delicious... during the course of my first food blog experiment he totally ripped a lemon from my hands once, and also just HAD TO whisk the batter for me. This is quite the experiment... in rekindling my cooking ability... in seeing if my marriage can withstand me venturing into our cramped, cluttered kitchen with my husband nearby:) ****

Today's offering.... Lemon Raspberry Bars... from twopeasintheirpod.com The link for the recipe is: http://twopeasintheirpod.com/lemon-raspberry-bars/

Here's what you need:



Please note that I chose to not use graham crackers. I hate graham cracker crust in all forms... though I like graham crackers in general (feel free to discuss this anomaly amongst yourselves)... so I always, always, always substitute shortbread cookies. Normally Lorna Doone's... they didn't have those at WalMart today so I bought Sandies. Please note that I used 4 cookies short of a row to get the exact measurement needed (I'm there for you... it shows... doesn't it). Just pop those cookies in a ziplock... and pound them until the lambs stop screaming.....

Combine 1 1/2 cups shortbread cookie crumbs, 6 tablespoons of butter (I used unsalted), 1/4 cup sugar, and the zest of a lemon. (**see the what I learned section below in case you are a zesting virgin). Smoosh this into the bottom of a greased 8x8 pan.

Bake it for 10 minutes. DO NOT TURN YOUR OVEN OFF... there is more baking to be done. Let the crust cool. Once cool, make your filling.


Grab one can of Sweetened Condensed Milk, and 2 fresh egg yolks...

Whip 'em together

Stir in 1/2 cup of fresh lemon juice and 1 teaspoon of lemon zest... whip them until it starts to thicken.... Please note that I do not have man hands. THIS is my husband stepping in once I complained about my arm being tired... chivalry is not dead:)

gently fold in your berries... you don't want to smoosh them and turn your bars all pink.

Pop them in the oven for 15 minutes...

Cool them for a bit... pop them in the refrigerator and chill them for at least an hour. Once chilled, top them with a dab of whipped cream and a berry... Ummm, pretty:)

THINGS I LEARNED:

1. Yellow things are pretty in pictures:-P

2. When a recipe calls for lemon zest... you should zest a lemon onto a cutting board.... then chop it up super fine so people don't get zesty teeth. (Thanks, Mom, for the assist:)

3. I need a new can opener as mine will not cut the full circumference of a can, a new lemon squeezer, and a prettier 8x8 pan... also a better lens for photographing food....

4. People think you are stupid when you dip your finger into a batter with 1/2 cup of lemon juice and a bunch of zest... pop it in your mouth... pucker up and say "eeek, that's lemony". I mean, I guess that was kind of obvious.

5. Raspberry Lemon Bars are yummers.... and when the recipe says to let them chill for an hour it doesn't mean 35 minutes... even if you are REALLY ready to take a picture of the bars. It MEANS it.... so don't mess with that timeline... if you know what I mean....

NEXT WEEK: My Mamaw's Peanut Butter Pie.... Swooon.

(Un)Thrifty Thursday.

Ok... so this will be a "regular" weekly post. Cause, well, I love to shop. So I'm going to find some amazing item that I want... may not need... but want so badly that I will wax philosophically about its beauty. Thus, I shall also be dropping hints to my husband to... well... buy me a gift cause I gave him the gift of a gorgeous child.

If you are looking for a cost saving Mommy blog... look elsewhere... here... my friends... we are about spending too much, regretting it later... and eating ramen if it means our kids can have fancy hairbows:)

Today's Offering of Fabulosity:



http://sweetmadys.com/

Sweet Madys Calling Cards... for every fashionable baby with a haute couture social circle....

Squeeee. Harper is totally going to start slipping these in diaper bags around town... Kate, Delia, Kennedy and Madelyn are totally in for an invite:)... and I pray to the Lord above that we don't have an allergy to peanuts or tree nuts in our future....

An Introduction to Miss Harper....

Ok, it is pretty much assumed that this blog will regularly feature the person who legally qualifies me as a resident of Mommyland.... Miss Harper:)

The stats on the bug.... born into this world at a petite, non-hooha tearing 6 pounds 10 ounces (thank you)... she continues to dwindle down the weight percentile charts and is currently tipping the scale at 11 pounds 6 ounces at almost 16 weeks old.

She has slept through the night since her early days (please, don't throw your rotten fruit and garbage at me... God will punish me with the second born, I'm sure). She has no marketable skills... she can't roll over as of yet. She is obsessed with soft blankies and yesterday we found a spot that tickles her. Ohhh, kiddo, you are in for it... I mean, if I can ellicit your giggles with the wiggle of my fingers you are pretty much going to get more tickles than Elmo.

She is already my little fashionista.... and who is today dazzling my mom's knitting group with some ridiculous baby gap ensemble that would make your heart go all squishy. Alas, her feet are still too small for shoes... and Alex cringes at the day when they do fit shoes... his wallet may run from me in exasperation.

As a new blogger... I'm obviously talking to my followers (ahem, Kara, thanks for being #1)... but I'd like to say something that I hope my little girl will happen upon one day. Harper is the greatest thing I have ever done.... I went to Oxford, I have a law degree, I worked on Capitol Hill. I have made money, and spent it on beautiful possessions. I have known the love of a wonderful family. I have cooked yummy meals and made a comfortable home. I have seen some of the most gorgeous places in the world. This kid.... well.... she tops it all. I would live in a hovel... and wear a burlap sack and dress her in paper towels stolen from a public restroom... ok that's gross... but she would still be amazing to me. I know, I'm exaggerating perhaps... but you get my point. All I need in this world is that smiling face.... her cuddles and her coos for life to be ok. Hands down... my best moment of every day has her at its core..... For this girl I am thankful.

I can't wait for you to watch her grow up with me... but lets not hurry her too much... ok? Let's pinky swear on it....

Who Are You?...

Who Are You?

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. I - I hardly know, sir, just at present - at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
- Lewis Carroll

Hi. I'm Alice. A newly minted resident of Mommyland. Getting here wasn't as simple as a tumble down a rabbit hole and a chug of a shot of a magical elixir from a delicately labeled bottle. Instead, envision a frazzled youngish attorney, with a mild shopping addiction, clad in a pinafore free attire, piling on the hormone imbalance weight, while accompanied by her sweet, overly literal husband on a journey through miscarriage, MTHFR, elixirs in shot form, a pregnancy full of bloat and some 60 hour work weeks thrown in. It wasn't a tea party, to say the least. But, at last, the (chaotic and crazy) fairy tale has arrived in the form of a 6 pound eleven ounce bundle of perfection.

I emerged into Mommyland accompanied by my aforementioned trusty, dusty husband, his neverending supply of popsicles and junk food (this man would be ECSTATIC if Sour Patch Kids were declared a part of a balanced diet by the Surgeon General), our heinous menagerie of baby replacement pets who refuse to be replaced by our baby, my mom/in-home Harper caregiver, and a new group of friends who have looked pregnancy loss in the eye and kicked it's arse. I own my own law practice... work too much... miss my baby like hell when I'm there... you know what I mean?

So in this blog, I will share my battles... with controlling my postpartum without meds (I'm crazy that way:) ... with raising my daughter to be an unspoiled and unselfish person (all the while dressing her in a wardrobe I believe could rival that of Suri Cruise). I will share with you my hopes and dreams of a larger family that I hope comes without more loss or strife. I'll take some pictures. I'll dazzle you with my craftiness. I'll make you some dinner... ok, I'll make me some dinner and show you a picture of it.

As your local resident Alice, I may be perpetually late for important dates, I'll use "....." way, way too much. I'll have a tea party or two. I won't buy a bunny until my 3 dogs and 5 cats have departed this earth of old age or stupidity (chances vary by animal). I won't chop off anyone's head... but I'll totally day dream about it. I'll battle through my days and take you along.... all to make it home to Miss Harper... because Mommyland was worth the tumbles and trials to get to.... and I'm so glad we are here.